I’m Pretty Sure Nengkoy Is Smiling

It is exactly one month today and the weeks before that was the darkest, saddest and most sorrowful period of my life.  I never imagined that the circumstances of those fretful, flustered and worrisome weeks could be felt and experienced by a human being.  I was helpless, unhappy and perturbed.  Exactly one month today was when my beautiful, charming and loving mother passed away.

This is the reason that I have suspended my posting on this blog.  It is in fact taking me a lot of guts and audacity right now in trying to write and finish this post.  There was even a period in the past weeks that I have decided to end and cease posting writeups on this blog (named after my mom’s endearing nickname, Nengkoy).  But my mother for sure would not want that.

Nengkoy: March 03, 1937 – April 16, 2021

I decided to resume writing because I know I’ve got lots of beautiful stories to tell especially tales and snippets on how lovely and delightful a human being my mother was.  I know that my simple quiet life will never be the same now that my mom is gone.  But I will try my very best to adapt and get by in this new life’s setup.

I know that my mom is watching and got the best view up there in heaven.  And I am pretty sure that she is smiling now that I have resumed my silly writing.

Dance When Bored Angels Ignore Us

It’s the last quarter and when I realized that I haven’t gone out of the country this year, I got sad.  When I counted that it has been close to eight months that I have been limiting my movement outdoors, I got sad.  I actually got sad when I realized I got sad.

Gazing into the affirmative, bouts of sadness may be good for us.  Can you just imagine happiness if there is no sadness?  Life then would be so dull, nauseating and mind-numbing.  Angels in heaven must have been so bored with happiness they prefer descending down to earth in search of sadness and turn the same into glee, delight and gladness.

Life is not about wishing storms to pass. It is about learning how to dance in the rain.

I am not saying that I would love to bask on sadness.  I had so much of it already.  But sadness as unwelcome and unwanted as it may seem is a life ingredient.  And if bored angels up above ignore us, what is good about us being humans is that we cope.  We have the capacity to manage, the ability to handle and the aptitude to deal.

Sadness is like a life’s unwanted storm.  It can be intense, horrible and devastating.  But life is not about wishing storms to pass.  It is about learning how to dance in the rain.  Therefore, we simply just have to dance if bored angels ignore us.

Improved Happiness & Declined Sadness In The Middle of the Year

It is June 1 and we have exactly a month before our lives reached the second half of the year.  I just wish and hope that in the middle of this year, everyone has reached a certain level of improved happiness and declined sadness.

Philippines, is one of the countries (though with unreliable statistics) has the lowest rate concerning deep human sadness and depression as a chronic illness.  Reason behind it is maybe because Filipinos are generally happy and being sad and depressed is not an ailment but rather just a life’s short phase. 

So for those who are actually suffering from the sadness woes, I have one song dedicated for you for the second half of the year.  What is so ironic about this pop-song is that it was shot in my happy country, the Philippines…

The song, video and its location seem so apt and fitting for it was shot in one of the happiest society in the planet while resonating past sadness and moving forward at a positive tone. The happy Pinoy crowd in the video seem to say and convey, “Everything’s gonna be okay”. 

everything is gonna be okay…

This therefore is our song for the second half of the present year!   Stay happy everyone!

Kalahating taon, hir ay kam!

Justice for Kian

kian delos santos

This is the face of the 17-year old boy whose last text message to his mother is a request for a bicycle who ironically according to the Justice Secretary possess Php 16,000 worth of shabu in his pocket on the time of his death.

This is the face of the 17-year old boy who was right-handed yet his body was found holding a gun in his left hand.

This is the face of the 17-year old boy whose dream is to become a policeman man someday yet it is the police who ended not only his dream but his young dear life.

This is the face of the 17-year old boy who represents the present type of sadistic justice system and brutal killings now rampant in my country.

This is the face of the 17-year old boy who according to the police retaliated but whose autopsy report says that the fatal gunshots were shot from behind his ear.

no child deserves this (sad)

I am obviously outraged!  And it is unfortunate that killings like this will continue until a new Philippine leader will be put in place.  I just hope that something sane, and logical, and sensible and compassionate and judicious will come out from this tragic and terrible event.  The shape, position and situation of Kian Delos Santos is the state of the Philippines today.

Hustisyang mailap para kay Kian!

The Saddest Eyes of Eli Lieb

the heart-pricking stare of eli lieb

This is the very heartbreak ballad that I don’t want to sing ever!  But since the exhibited emotions of the singer (Eli Lieb that is) is so raw, this video then deserves to be in my blog.

Those eyes are the saddest.  You can actually see and feel that this guy is going through with something.  Try to notice his subtle sigh at the end of the video.  It happened in a split a second yet you can actually feel the intensity of sadness and sorrow when he blew air out from his mouth.  Such a glum and doleful moment.

I have seen a number of videos of Eli Lieb in the past but I haven’t seen how sad his eyes looks like like the way this beautiful video did.  If indeed his going through with something, I hope him well…

Halatang may pinagdadaanan si kuya.