Unquantifiable Love

Sixty long years ago a proof of an unquantifiable love was perched.  Sixty long years ago my parents, Nengkoy & Joe got married inside a church.

Nengkoy & Joe sixty years ago.  Happy anniversary Nanay & Tatay!

Today, I realized that my big moments, my little talks and even my silly laughs in the past with Nengkoy & Joe were all unquantifiably special.  I terribly miss both of them.  But June 9 this year is more than special.  It is because it is the first year that this gorgeous couple are celebrating their wedding anniversary together in a stunningly beautiful place called Heaven. 

Nengkoy & Joe may no longer be here but knowing that they are finally together gives me peace.  Nengkoy & Joe may no longer be here but they were my proofs that unquantifiable love does exist.  Nengkoy & Joe may no longer be here yet my unquantifiable love for these two beautiful souls will forever persist. 

Hold Tight

Some vivid childhood memories that I have with my mom are the situations when she would hold my hand when we cross a street.  My young brain was instinctively programmed by my mom that the starting point of crossing the street is by initially grabbing my then little hand.

Her grip turning firmer to my young little hand is the signal that we would have to commence striding a street no matter how narrow, busy or dangerous the crossing would be.  I consider this simple yet distinct memory as a symbol and representation of my mother’s care, love and attention.  Though the childhood experience of crossing a street with my mom seem too plain and too basic, I also consider her firm grip as a way of conveying that while crossing the street, I would be just fine.

one of the last two photos I took of me and Nengkoy

On the last day of my mom on her deathbed, I was the one who was gripping unto her hand.  It was me whom she was with when she crossed not a busy highway, not a narrow road and not a dangerous street.  And while she crossed over to Joy and Forever, as if to symbolically reciprocate back her care, love and attention, my hand firmly gripped hers.  I then gently whispered and conveyed to her in a reassuring manner that everything and every people she would leave behind will be just fine.  This too would be one of the most vivid memories of my life.

I’m Pretty Sure Nengkoy Is Smiling

It is exactly one month today and the weeks before that was the darkest, saddest and most sorrowful period of my life.  I never imagined that the circumstances of those fretful, flustered and worrisome weeks could be felt and experienced by a human being.  I was helpless, unhappy and perturbed.  Exactly one month today was when my beautiful, charming and loving mother passed away.

This is the reason that I have suspended my posting on this blog.  It is in fact taking me a lot of guts and audacity right now in trying to write and finish this post.  There was even a period in the past weeks that I have decided to end and cease posting writeups on this blog (named after my mom’s endearing nickname, Nengkoy).  But my mother for sure would not want that.

Nengkoy: March 03, 1937 – April 16, 2021

I decided to resume writing because I know I’ve got lots of beautiful stories to tell especially tales and snippets on how lovely and delightful a human being my mother was.  I know that my simple quiet life will never be the same now that my mom is gone.  But I will try my very best to adapt and get by in this new life’s setup.

I know that my mom is watching and got the best view up there in heaven.  And I am pretty sure that she is smiling now that I have resumed my silly writing.

Valentines: Got Myself an Ice Cream

Like Rock Hudson who promised that he would treat himself for an ice cream if he gets the acting-role he first-time auditioned for, I too promised myself in the past that I would treat myself for an ice cream in case I finally found my “significant other”.

smiling today! haha!

I am writing this because it is Valentine’s Day today, the day of hearts, the day of love and the day to celebrate with a “significant other”.  Unlike other Valentine Days in the past where I would just stay indoors, be quiet, sometimes be cranky and do nothing, I this year mustered a lot of chutzpah to be seen in public. 

With testicles the size of asteroids, I stepped out, I went out and smiled outdoors!  I decided to be cheery and light-hearted!  A good amount of it was spent in my office so as to beat a deadline, shop at the biggest people-infested mall for larger-sized shirts because I’m getting plumper and do a little grocery at a nearby hypermarket.  Included in my grocery haul was a pint of ice cream.

Yup, I decided to treat myself today for a big calorific amount of ice cream.  You may be wondering now if I finally find my “significant other”.  Let me answer it then…

ice cream!!!

Did you know that Rock Hudson went to his nearby diner and ordered for an ice cream despite knowing that he was not chosen for the acting role that he auditioned for?   Though sad and down he was nevertheless was full of hope.  Rock Hudson treat himself for a big goblet of an ice cream because he was proud of the courage he showed during the first time he auditioned.  

I got the strawberry flavor!  Happy Valentines everyone!

Driver’s License Bare Version by Morisette

One of my bases to consider if an internationally released song is a big hit in my country is when an able singer here in the Philippines get to do a cover of the song.  But since everybody here in my country is an able singer, let me reclassify that basis.  That is, if a song has been covered by a first-rate mainstream professional singer in my country, then such a song is a big hit.

And because of this, let me formally declare the sad and moving love song entitled Driver’s License originally sang by Olivia Rodrigo a big hit here in the Philippines.

Here’s the fabulous “bare” and moving version by the gorgeous Morisette Amon:

Morisette is so damn good! The vocals are so raw and emotional, she seems like living and feeling the song! She can tell such a sad love story through this rendition.  Super impressive!

And that’s how I sing in the morning by the way! Haha!

The Unescapable February

My solo dealings literally, figuratively and unromantically about life’s quests and adventures has resulted to considering the love month of February as a season for silly rants, inane bitterness and ridiculous resentments! Hahaha! 

While everybody adores the amorously fab month of Feb, for me, it’s a dark and menacing month that I hate to confront and grapple with!  I am so prosaic and unromantic, friends and colleagues know that if I could just skip and jump to March after the cool month of January, I would! Hahaha!

But this year, let me go pretty easy towards the unescapable February. Let me be a little different this year.  I decided to post no rant, no bitterness and no resentment in this season of love!  I will instead try my very best to post thoughts and notions about love may it be towards pets, friends, a movie, a song, a romantic partner or even inanimate objects!  Besides who wouldn’t want to be love-filled during these uncertain times of the pandemic?

Watch out Cupid, this blog may eat your heart out this love month of Feb! 

Cool Carlo

Reading about good news has been so hard to come by.  In the age of divisiveness, social mistreatment and neglect of the planet, human beings would seem to yearn for some good news nowadays. 

Let me provide one to you then. Carlo Acutis, an Italian Roman Catholic teenager is scheduled for beatification today, October 10, 2020.  This is after the Pope confirmed a miracle attributed to Carlo’s intercession – the healing of a young Brazilian boy who was afflicted with a rare congenital pancreatic disease.

cool carlo acutis

This young dude who died of leukemia in 2006 at a young age of 15 did things that no ordinary teenager of his generation would do.  He frequently prayed the holy rosary, attended mass and received the eucharist.   He also made an online catalog of the miracles pertaining to the Holy Eucharist.  As if like an old wise man, Carlo offered his pains, agonies and sufferings to the Lord and the Church.  How cool is that!

The body of Blessed Carlo on display in Assisi

Another cool thing about Carlo is that he seems to be the only Blessed in Nike shoes! Congratulations Blessed Carlo! You simply rock!

Bought Two Robot Toothbrush Hangers

In a couple of months I will be celebrating my 20th birthday on being 30 years old.  I must be excited because I am already writing about it. Or am I really excited or just anxious about this uncertain point in one’s life?  A lot of people embrace it others are unenthusiastic while some are simply numb.

What is alarming about my about-to-celebrate birthday the fiftieth time is that I am still single, lone, solo, free and unattached (do I really have to accentuate this much? Hahaha!).  People can say that in the aspect of finding and attracting a life partner I may be the living proof that The Secret revealed by Rhonda Byrne in her book regarding the law of attraction is nothing but a futile idea and an unsuccessful suggestion.

I have done all Rhonda Byrne has opined.  I slept in only one side of my bed which at times I find myself waking up on the floor because I unconsciously fell while sleeping at some point in the middle of the night.  I prepare food good for two servings which only resulted to my having to purchase larger sized clothing.  I allotted a space in my dresser which caused me to buy and install further dressers so as to have more space for my retail therapy.  I even bought and installed two cute robot toothbrush hangers inside my bathroom!

robot toothbrush hangers on my bathroom wall

hoping to have fun when i’m five zero

Despite this unsuccessful approaches and years may have passed, I would still like to believe in Rhonda Byrne when she say, “There is no such thing as a hopeless situation.  Every single circumstance of your life can change”.

I really hope and wish that Rhonda Byrne would prove me wrong.  According to her, thoughts become things.  But I really wish that in this coming November thoughts would finally become a person.  Keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed!

Found LOVE at Blagden Alley

While trying to get ready with my next out-of-the-country adventure, I decided to transfer my recent travel photos to my external drive memory bank.  I noticed that there was one place in Washington that I failed to feature in my blog which I deliberately went to so as to experience, smell the area as well as get some awesome photos.

How can I forget the LOVE mural at the Instagram famous Blagden Alley?Or is it my subconscious telling me to temporarily miss it and only be aware again in time for the celebration of Pride Month this June?  This unique and eye catching piece of art is by Lisa Marie Thalhammer.  It is an LGBT-rainbow colored piece which communicates the simplest yet universal message of inclusivity and acceptance. Whatever it may be, let me then chronicle this little piece of experience that I had when I happen to see this meaningful and awesome street art found at Blagden Alley in Washington DC. At least through this street art, I can really say that I did indeed found LOVE in DC.  I hope next time its the one true thing!  Hahaha!And by the way, let me have this opportunity to greet everyone a “Happy Pride”!

Pumapag-ibig sa bwan ng Prayd!