It is exactly one month today and the weeks before that was the darkest, saddest and most sorrowful period of my life. I never imagined that the circumstances of those fretful, flustered and worrisome weeks could be felt and experienced by a human being. I was helpless, unhappy and perturbed. Exactly one month today was when my beautiful, charming and loving mother passed away.
This is the reason that I have suspended my posting on this blog. It is in fact taking me a lot of guts and audacity right now in trying to write and finish this post. There was even a period in the past weeks that I have decided to end and cease posting writeups on this blog (named after my mom’s endearing nickname, Nengkoy). But my mother for sure would not want that.
I decided to resume writing because I know I’ve got lots of beautiful stories to tell especially tales and snippets on how lovely and delightful a human being my mother was. I know that my simple quiet life will never be the same now that my mom is gone. But I will try my very best to adapt and get by in this new life’s setup.
I know that my mom is watching and got the best view up there in heaven. And I am pretty sure that she is smiling now that I have resumed my silly writing.
A couple of nights ago before going to sleep, I opt to step out of my balcony so as to decide whether to shut my windows close and turn on the AC or leave the balcony door and windows open since its tranquil and nippy.
And while gazing at the night sky I was thrilled to see multiple stars in the heavens.
too sad my camera couldn’t capture it
It dawned in me that it has been more than a year that I haven’t seen those stars hanging from the sky. It was beautiful. Seeing stars in the metro sky has been so rare. It has gone so infrequent that metropolitan folks have started to link seeing night time stars as positive signs from the heavens that their longings will soon be granted. No thanks to the smog and pollution of the concrete jungle.
I decided not to link seeing stars to the multiple wishes that I have. I simply smiled and enjoyed the site. And while stepping inside, I opted to keep the balcony door and windows open. When I closed my eyes, I realized that sleeping under the stars is a perfect way to end the night.
There was a simple gathering at my mom’s house last night. Me & my sister brought a cake while my mom cooked our family’s favorite dish. It was my dad’s supposed 80th birthday. Had one desire though yesterday. How I wish God allows visiting hours in heaven.