Getting Stout and the All-Purpose Comforter

Oftentimes during my nightly video teleconference with my family, they would tell me that I’m starting to gain so much weight.  That my face has gone so stout that it no longer fits their cellphone screen!  This was further confirmed by a friend whom I recently caught up with.  When he told me that I have gone quite corpulent, I rolled my eyes heavenward and justified that it is because my social life has turned depressingly invaginated, that the mentally-disturbing pandemic has gone so long and that I am still miserably uninspired and alone. 

Yup, my food intake has gone way extra in the past months because of these reasons.  A lot of us, I’m sure, at some stage in our lives have taken to using food as a surrogate for the stuffs we cannot have.  Since the helpless food does not resist and surrenders instantly, it is the best substitute for everything.  It doesn’t fight back when you assault it with your spoon or attack it with a fork.  It does not scream pain nor howl agony when you munch it in your mouth.  It is the ultimate giver of warmth and the all-purpose comforter.

double-chin smile! haha!

I’m almost certain that after checking out his latest (dis)approval ratings, Donald Trump sought solace not from Melania, but from a big bag of chips.  It is just too bad that the sugar high that food provides goes straight to our chin and belly and results to blobs of fat that clogs our defenseless arteries.  And it is disturbing to realize that the quantity of fat in our body is exactly proportional to the size of our doctor’s bank account.

Please pardon my body-shaming-like post today, all these blood sugar seem to have caramelized in my brain already.  Christmas season is coming so expect a bigger me.  Or maybe, I should reactivate my exercise regimen and restart being on ketosis already!  Let me contemplate on this then.  Have a healthy week everyone!

My 28th Day Hurdle of Breaking the Smoking Habit

superfriends

my super friends

It is believed that it takes 28 days to form or break a habit.  Last Saturday, January 26 was actually my 28th day of being cigarette free.  Ironically, it was the toughest test of my being a smoke-free mortal.  This was the day I caught-up with my super friends who knows that I am a notorious smoker every time we would go out.

We convened at Sofitel Philippine Plaza Hotel I did not smoke.  We had dinner at a Filipino restaurant in Resorts World I did not smoke.  And the hurdle of all hurdles, we went to a smoke-filled dance club along Julia Vargas Avenue in Pasig later that same night and  I surprisingly did not lit a cigarette.  I’m even proud to say that I never psychopathically craved for it the whole time I was with my great buddies.  No drooling, no chills, no big cold sweats.  I was normal and simply had pure fun.

With this, I can superciliously announce that I passed the test, emerged triumphant and totally broke the noxious smoking habit.

Aym pretty shur gradweyt na ko sa yosi. 

Goodbye Marlboro Man

Goodbye Marlboro Man.  My being with you wasn’t my best experience in life and I hope not to meet you again.

As much as I want to keep it to myself and prevent myself from bragging, I could no longer help but make it known that I have stopped – as in totally ceased – from SMOKING.  Yeah, for exactly 3 weeks now my pair of lungs has been free from the dangers of tobacco.  Exactly 3 weeks now I have not lighted a single cigarette.  And luckily, exactly 3 weeks now I have not craved for even a single puff.

Don’t get me wrong but I am not a chain smoker.  Though I have been smoking for the past 20 years whose only apparent reason for lighting cigarettes is because of my high-flying zaniness, I actually consider myself a “sosyal” (social) smoker.

my vaping gadget courtesy of Bautina

my vaping gadget courtesy of Bautina

The kicking-off of my smoking habit was actually not planned.  It was not a new year’s resolution for I believe New Year promises are actually made to be broken.  It was a simple unexpected circumstance.  Thanks to my younger sister Joy (I call her Bautina) for gifting me a special gadget for Christmas, i.e., an electronic vaporizer otherwise known as e-cigarette.

I started with a tiny container of e-juice with high nicotine content.  Now I’m on my second vial that has medium content of nicotine (6 mg).  Upon finishing this, my third vial is ready to vaporize with zero nicotine content.  All provided for free by my sweet sister Bautina.

Surprisingly, I have yet to experience the symptoms of withdrawal and have yet to feel what the terrifying cold turkey would be like.  I am glad that I just simply feel better.  I am free from the trappings that come with it — no more coughing, no more gasping for air, no more choking-stench of breath and fingers.  And more importantly, I will no longer have to cringe at the thought of my being impolite for being the lone smoker in a group of non-smokers.

To those who happen to bumped upon this article, congratulate me!  I can proudly say that this silent personal holocaust is over.

Nakaw!!! Pano na yan?! Lalong mas magiging malinamnam na ako nito ngayon?!

Bunot Exercise Work Out

the native floor polisher

A lot of contemporary studies reveal that the cause of this generation’s obesity is due to modern technology.  People nowadays has very limited physical activities for they spend considerable amounts of their time in front of a computer or a state-of-the-art gadget.  Add to this are the sizeable amount of growth hormones injected on various foodstuff which the people of today consumes – noxious fried chickens, lard infested French fries, vein-blocking hamburgers and the likes.

But let me add another imposing reason why the citizens nowadays are plump, corpulent and overweight.  This is because bunot is no longer available in the market.  The ever reliable coconut husk commonly known as bunot used to polish our household floorings may it be made from cement, of natural stone or of fine timber virtually vanished and seems to have been wiped out in all our nearby stores.

No thanks to the invention of electric-run floor polishers, floor washing robots, wood polishing chemical formulas and lamella-layered veneer flooring tiles because we no longer exert the physically demanding effort of polishing manually our floors.

Polishing the floors then was such a calorie-burning episode! First, is to sweep the floor to get rid of dusts and small boulders that may be present on the floor.  Then, manually wiping the floors with bars of floor wax using a cloth, then, setting it for a couple of minutes for the wax to dry up.  Then, the severely demanding “pagbubunot” or pushing back and forth the coconut husk against the floor lodged at the palm of your foot and using the other foot to firmly step on the floor to maintain balance.  To maintain the multiple polishing movements of the legs and feet, the arms and shoulders needs to be of the opposite swaying movement while the body’s torso needs to maintain a 90 degree angle against the horizontal floor. Polishing is done using your foot and your leg pushing the bunot back and forth until the desired gloss and shiny-ness of the floor has been achieved.  Describing and writing how “pagbubunot” is done already makes me sweat!!!

I suppose bunot is basically one of the reasons why the generations in the past are sexier, leaner and are well in shape even if there were no expensive fitness centers in the past and liposuction procedures were yet to be invented.  Possessing a plump belly and flabby humps were something that is rather rare among the populace in the past.

So, if every citizen on this planet wants to keep fit and wants to achieve a lean, slim and sexy body, I propose that “bunot” be reintroduced back in all our nearby retail stores.  Besides, it’s earth-friendly, ecologically conservative, green and biodegradable.

Bunot lang ang katapat ng bilbil mo, hindi pasta.