Christmas Without Nengkoy

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Last Christmas, like any other Christmases in the past, I woke up late.  I have always considered Christmas Day as my laziest day of the year.  If there would be a day that I would give myself as a gift, it would obviously be the Christmas Day.  It is the day when I would spend inside my bedroom all day – relaxing, slackening and lazy-ing (if the latter is a word).

Part of my respite was to just watch YouTube videos all day and peek at what my social media friends have been posting.  Surprisingly, the first YouTube video that I watched last Christmas made me sob and whimper.

2021 is the first Christmas without Nengkoy, my mom.  That is why my family’s Christmas Eve dinner was totally different for the first time.  Absent was the star of our traditional Noche Buena.  Though the Christmas food was really good, the Nengkoy-flavor was not there which I guess I would have to get used to in the next Christmases to come.

me & nengkoy (my forever star of Noche Buena), christmas 2019

The song is so moving, it made me miss my mother this Christmas.  And though my mom will never be forgotten – she’s part and will always be part of my daily prayer – I guess I need to simply just get used to this kind of a Christmas set-up.

22 thoughts on “Christmas Without Nengkoy”

  7. I’m glad you had a good take care of you Christmas Day even though your Mom is gone and not physically there to share the holidays with you. During my lifetime, I was only away from my Mom two Christmases and that is because she either came to where my son and were living or paid to fly us home to her. Since she died, my son has become estranged so Christmas since 1998 has been very strange. He was there for a few, then left. It’s wonderful that you still have so much family to celebrate with on your traditional Christmas Eve day.

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  8. That first Christmas without someone special is hard. But you got through it together, as you will this year and beyond and hopefully the memories are brighter.

    I must say, I like this idea that Christmas Day should be the laziest of all. It’s usually one of the busiest for me, and goes by so quickly!

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